bigbiggirl

liat postan kemarin somehow bikin saya ketawa ketawa sendiri. melihat seberapa yakinnya saya kalau yah there's no word give up in our relation but suddenly I feel like... I can not stand to be the one who still fight for everything but the other has already gave up. ini mungkin cuman perasaan saya, tapi saya bisa merasakan orang yang tiba tiba berubah menjauh dsb. hey kita bukan sekedar kenal atau baru kenal satu dua tahun, it's-five-freakin-years and after everything we've been through together, you just walked away like we were never ever even close. it's not the kind of oh-I'm-in-my-very-bad-mood-so-I-could-not-greet-you but it's more like 
i've-been-using-every-excuse-that-I-have-to-make-us-apart or to keep our distance apart. to be fking honest saya sangat tidak mau kehilangan orang orang seperti kalian sangat.tidak.mau. okelah, kalau lagi dalam kondisi tidak mood untuk sekedar bertemu dengan yang lainnya, saya dan yang lain bisa maklum mungkin, tapi ini beda. ya, ini sangat berbeda. kembali lagi saya bisa merasakan orang orang menjauh dari saya dan you ain't just a person for me,for us. I actually don't know what do you want, how do you feel towards us,is everything we've done worth for you? and suddenly everything seems so unclear; how could you quit so easily? or maybe I'm the one who think about this so dramatically? I don't know, once again everything seems so unclear now. from the bottom of my heart, I myself, totally hope we can spend time together again, partying and bullshit like there's no tomorrow or act like dumbass and forget about our problem and our supa-dupa-hectic-day for a while. and I'm hoping it is just another misunderstanding case. sudahlah maybe i'm just a little unwell...